falcon_horus: Primeval - Jennifer Lewis (Contemplating life)
[personal profile] falcon_horus
...which I should be used to by now.

*sigh*

I did it again. What's the point of scoring good points all throughout the year when it's those pesky exams that make or break the year? In my case, they broke it... yet again. I failed all my classes, bar 3 (Computer Systems, MS Word & HTML/CSS). So I failed Database Systems (9/20), Database SQL querying (4/20), MS Excel (6/20) & C# Programming (7/20, where I scored a 14/20 during the previous semester).

I'm going to have to accept at some point in time that I'm quite possibly simply never going to have a proper degree. And that people will continue to look down on me when I happen to mention I don't have a proper degree, cause they automatically assume you're too stupid for it. I can sense this same attitude from the very people who follow my search-for-work-trajectory. It's something I have to attend, workshops and the like on how to create the best possible CV and letter. How to prepare for interviews, awareness of who you are, psychological tests and social media, pay and different contracts, and one extra workshop that I have to attend about how to get the work done without getting distracted, cause the woman was bothered by the fact that I have the attentionspan of a gnat. That my attention jumps around and thus it can not be beneficial to my work ethic -- say what now?

Also, as an introvert I get tired behaving like an extrovert... It drains my energy. Accept that, will you!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-04 07:29 pm (UTC)
brightknightie: Fleur hugging Nick (Hug)
From: [personal profile] brightknightie
I'm sorry it's this hard. I'm glad and admiring that you keep striving. Good luck!

Thank you for dropping in and letting us know.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-07-06 07:51 am (UTC)
brightknightie: Fleur hugging Nick (Hug)
From: [personal profile] brightknightie
I know that it's tough. I'm sorry. Hold on tight! I know that sounds trite; I wish I had better words. I don't know your specific obstacles, and can only speak from memories of my own darker times.

For the little obstacles, reward systems can sometimes help with pushing through. "Do [something hard], win [something you want to do]."

For the biggest obstacles, I recommend Things To Which To Look Forward. I keep a list. When despair threatens to set in, there has to be a reason to carry on, and my list always has something to offer me, even if it would seem very silly to everyone else.

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falcon_horus: "It's smaller on the outside" - Clara (Default)
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